• Dana

Love you, Love Me More

Updated: Dec 13, 2020

I felt it was time to introduce myself to the world because the Dana y’all know is dead and gone.

For the last 35 years I’ve been carrying hatred and anger for people that hurt me but in reality...carrying the weight of it all only made me hate myself. Years of seeking love in ALL the wrong places, numbing myself with sex and alcohol and hating myself for who I’d become, led me to a moment.

365 days ago I held a gun to my head, finger on the trigger...and by the grace of god I’m still here.

I might not have died that day, but a part of me did. The part that stood toe to toe with every conceivable form of the devil and won. The part that protected my soul and my heart. Her life and death will not be in vain. Her pain will not be diminished. Her strength will not go unnoticed. Now, on the first anniversary of her death, the new me is born.

I’m Dana and today I start my 41st trip around the sun. I’m opinionated and loud; yet quiet and reserved. I have a wicked since of humor that gets me in trouble and I will forever be sticking my foot in my mouth...

…and I believe that the only way to heal is to talk about it.

I traded loud parties for yoga. I traded a double patron on the rocks with a lime for getting all the water I need everyday. I traded anonymous sex for actual unconditional love. I traded forcing relationships that didn’t work for working on the relationship I have with myself. I traded verbal evisceration of those who push my buttons for reflective journaling abut why I let them make me feel ragey. I traded numbing my pain with drugs and alcohol for daily time with god. I traded talking shit for encouraging others. I traded hating every cell of my being to learning that I’m fucking awesome and there is no one like me...just as I am, even when I fuck up.

Love you. Love me more.

Happy birthday to me.


Dana Irelan

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